Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
