Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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