He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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