so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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