So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
