so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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