We need to rekindle our bromance
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
