Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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