I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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