Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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