Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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