You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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