You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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