nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
