You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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