their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
