Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
