the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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