I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
