The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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