I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
