quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
