You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize