If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
