If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
