at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
