Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
