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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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