i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
