She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
