So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize