I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize