She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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