Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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