Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
