Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You made out with two different species that night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
