Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
