We won't sleep together?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
