im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
