Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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