Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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