Just fell off a train. Bad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
