Everything about him screamed your future.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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