i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
