So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize