I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He better not be in your backpack
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
