this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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