You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
nutella sex= disaster
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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