At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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