Where is the hickey?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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