yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
