Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
