Kiss
Puke
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
