I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i think i just lost a toe
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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