I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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