if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
