): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
