i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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